What to Expect When You're...Perimenopausal

Written by Erica Langer, PsyD - Clinical psychologist at The Centered Space

Everyone knows that children mature through a process of puberty called adolescence. During the pre-teen years, girls are flooded with information about bodily changes through health education class, magazines and interactions with peers. Parents know to expect the changes and to tell their children what is going to happen. Although one can never be fully prepared for puberty, at least we are told what to expect! 

I’m an adult, my body should be done changing, right? Think again.

Fast forward a few decades. You're in your 40s. With the exception of an annual GYN appointment and maybe a mammogram, reproductive health often receives little attention. Just like every child goes through adolescence, every woman goes through perimenopause and menopause. It is also a predictable and normal time in a woman’s life, when being aware and prepared is helpful, just like it was as a child.

So when does perimenopause start? What about menopause? Is there anything I can do to deal with hot flashes? Spotting? Other bodily changes? When it comes to menopause, there is a lot of mystery and many unanswered questions. Other times, we may hear unhelpful advice, including “there’s nothing to do about it” and since it’s normal, I guess it’s fine.

There is a difference between normal and fine

Just because adolescence is normal, we don’t expect everything to go great for teens. We support them with therapy, education, sometimes medications and hormonal support. The same should be true of perimenopause and menopause - support, therapy, hormonal support and possibly medications can and should be on offer at this time, without stigma.

As a Clinical Psychologist, I work with patients struggling with anxiety in the face of uncertainty. For women in their 40s, it often relates to menopause. It is hard not having answers, especially when the unknown lies within our bodies. If you are struggling to adapt to this new life phase, you are not alone.

Below are some recommendations that may help:

1. You may not be in middle school but chances are that friends are also dealing with bodily changes. Your peer group probably has questions just like you do, and maybe a few answers. Call a friend. Ask about their experience and share your own. 

2. Talk to your doctor. Tests can be done to check hormone levels and assess the need for medication and/or supplements. Advocate for yourself and make sure that you are taking care of your body. Just because something is normal doesn’t mean it is fine. If you are like most women, you need more support.

3. Therapy! We are here to help. There is a lot to process during this stage of your life. As a Clinical Psychologist I provide support and tools to help during challenging times. Therapy is an important part of self-care and is as important as ever.